If I’m Without You

Alone again
Forgot her name but I’ll have a guess
I feel like a bed and breakfast with optional sex
But to be honest I couldn’t care less
Voices keep on asking
‘When will this all stop? When will this all end?’
I’d love to find love
But in the name of it, your arm I’ll never bend
Don’t care at all
Not surprised or appalled
I’ll live my life and if the love I feel is two hundred miles away
Then I’ll drive there today
But today is not that day
Sick and fed up and challenged in love
My hippocampus lacks serotonin, dopamine and all of the above
I’m sorry dad
I’d like to be the son that made you glad
Sorry wife, sorry son or daughter
You’ll have to wait
Because today I’m all rain and no water
Call it fate
But I won’t wait for you
Or double text or look for someone new
I’ll sit back, relax, because that’s all I can do
Hangovers waste days
But they’re all wasted anyway if I’m without you


The End

Overdramatic while everything is static

Obsess and check my phone

Feels like I’m visiting a grave

Again and again and alone

Obsess, abscess, no I never got what I gave

Over think, no life line

I seem to do this every, single, time

God, I wish you were mine

But I’m talking about you as if it’s already over

And I’ll try not to meet you sober

But I say that for comfort, so I can pretend that I’m fine

I don’t even know you, but I have these stories in my head

I don’t even know you, but I’d already let you in my bed

Close to someone far, wanting something I can’t have

It’s hard to starve for food when you were never ever fed

Far from someone close, wanting love I never had

If she were free, interested I wouldn’t be

And she isn’t so my negative complex is glad

In the end

I’ll catastrophize and imagine the end, when there is no beginning

Why won’t these stories end?

Because the story of my future keeps losing to the story of my beginning



I Met You Once

I feel so stupid.

A lot of friends, a lot of drugs again and I’m running from that arsehole called Cupid

I met you once and I know it’s dumb

Maybe one day my time will come

I met you once and I’m writing about you

I’m up late again but now I’m thinking of us two

And you’ll never read this

I felt so much but there wasn’t even a kiss

Maybe I don’t know how to love but I know what I felt

And I wish I could feel your body

And now I’m not thinking of anybody else

And I’m thinking about your body

When I know you’re in love with somebody else

But every touch of yours felt like an earthquake

Your words were water straight from a Swiss mountain lake

Swept out with the tide

For God’s sake.

I wish I could fall asleep with you by my side.

And I wish you could be there when I was awake.